Monday, October 27, 2008
Regrets
I didn't know that as I was typing the last post, I lost another friend.
We were not really close and we never really got the chance to know more about each other. However, during the short period of time that we communicated via email it was indeed enjoyable and I was always looking forward to read her emails.
I have another regret in my life. She never got the chance to read the last email I had sent to her before she went for her operation. I regret not seeing her email the night before and was late in my reply.
We were always optimistic in our emails, encouraging each other that she is going to make it and all. However, I guess God still wants her by his side.
Just as Jowyn and I were wondering how her condition was last night, I opened the link to the story of her friend this morning to find out that she did not made it and left us all on October 24, 2008 at 3:57pm.
The weather this morning was all bright and sunny but now it looks like it's going to rain. Since I read that she was gone, I have been trying to stop my tears. I suddenly became quiet and decided to do this post. As I am typing this, I keep going to other sites because I know if I am to type this all at one go, I am sure to tear.
Suddenly I feel like cancelling all the plans I have for today and stay home but I know she will never want this.
I'll end this here.
Let's pray together for this beautiful angel who has brightened up my day in the last month, Karoll Soriano.
Rest in peace my friend.
Friday, October 24, 2008
I Miss You
I said the next post will be photos of Chun but well, it's the time of the year for me to get this up so I'll do this first.
How have you been my dear friend? It had been a year since you left us. I was supposed to visit you with C the day before your anniversary but I'm really sorry I didn't do it because I had many things to be done. I know that's not a very good excuse so I'm apologising.
Even this blog post for you is late. I'm truly sorry.
Since you left I feel that I have been apologising so often. I don't know why. In this year so many things have changed and happened. I have a lot of things to tell you but don't know why my mind is blank now as I'm typing this.
In this year I realised that I have grown up a lot. And the biggest reason is you. You have made me seen a lot of things and learn a lot. Sometimes I really wish that you are still around because I know you will give me the best advice if I ever need one. However saying all these now seems to be pointless.
In this year I wrote 3 songs for you. I know that you will still be able to hear it even though you are high above protecting us.
Song 1
失去
Lost
written from 03/12/07 to 02/01/08
听见那一刻我哭了
When I heard it, I cried
分手也没流泪
Even when breaking up I did not cry
你曾说我是你天真情人
You once said that I am your innocent lover
无人能争
That no one can snatch away
如今弃我而走
Now you have left me
要我如何放手
How do you want me to let go
想珍惜
Want to cherish
你不在
But you are not there
只有过去
Only the past
有你存在
Had you around
爱你想你
Love you, think of you
恨你
Hate you
但更恨自己
But I hate myself more
如果不曾放手
If I didn't let go
幸福会否到手
Will happiness be in my hand?
思念已加深
The feeling of missing has increased
爱情已走远
Love has left
失去你
Losing you
快乐无法延续
Happiness can't continue
I wrote this song from C's point-of-view because I know how sad she had been since you left. I believe that even though now she hasn't get over the fact that you are gone but she has become much stronger. I know you will be so proud of her.
Song 2
关系
Relationship
written from 03/01/08 to 26/05/08
失去后
After losing
才懂珍惜
Then I know how to cherish
你我点滴
Everything between us
哭泣已没用
Crying is pointless
想你是所有
Thinking about you is everything
心里的痛谁懂
Who will know the pain in the heart
说我很你
Saying I hate you
是借口
Is an excuse
恨自己放弃你
Hate myself for giving you up
手如果不分
If we didn't break up
你就不走
You wouldn't have left
我想再爱你
I want to love you again
再抱你
Hug you again
继续我们的
Continue our
关系
Relationship
说再多已没用
Talking too much is pointless
想再多已没用
Thinking too much is pointless
只因你不再
Because you are already not around
Another one from her point-of-view. Before she left for Canada I have seen the sadness in her eyes. I know if there is a second chance she will certainly not have broken up with you. But all those 'ifs' are pointless now, because you are already not with us.
Song 3
后悔
Regret
written from 26/05/08 to 12/08/08
朋友
My friend
你好吗？
How have you been?
在另一个世界快乐吗？
Are you happy in another world?
她还想你
She still thinks of you
你知道吗？
Do you know?
你还会想她吗？
Do you still think of her?
有时会后悔
Sometimes will regret
不曾去催
Never urge
你开嘴
You to open your mouth
有时会后悔
Sometimes will regret
不给你机会
Never give you the chance
多说几回
To talk more
突然忘了你的脸
Suddenly forget your face
忘了你爱冒险
Forget that you like adventure
忘了永远
Forget about forever
哭泣已没用
Crying is pointless
事情已不同
Matters are already different
只能在记忆中
In memories
追寻你脸孔
Searching for your face
This song is written from my point-of-view. After writing two songs from C's point-of-view, I suddenly realise that I have not voice out my feelings to you. In our group of friends, you are always known to be more quiet. Thinking back now, I really regret never urging you to voice out more often. I always wonder. If you were more voca, would things have turn out differently in the end? But like I said, all 'ifs' are pointless now.
After you left I suddenly realise I have not seen you for such a long time until I forgot how you look like. I tried searching for your face in my memory every night, but nothing ever comes out. I really wonder what sort of friend I had been when you were alive.
C showed me your diaries before and I know to you we are special. To us, you are special too but I really feel bad. I feel bad for not doing my part as a friend and not realizing the seriousness of things earlier.
On the day of your first anniversary, I promise you this. I'll keep a lookout on C, I'll make sure that she remains the optimistic girl that you have known. I promise to be a true friend to her and whenever she needs someone beside her I'll be there.
Rest in peace my dear friend.
In loving memory
Darrel Yang Jun En
fly me to paris, please?
11:35 PM
11:35 PM
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Gala Premiere of Butterfly Lovers
Haha.... Well, this post isn't exactly all about me. However, I still have to share what happened to me yesterday!!!
Chun was in Singapore yesterday to promote his first movie 'Butterfly Lovers', since it's only a day stay he had a lot of events to complete.
Early in the morning, one of my colleague in the other department told me that Chun will be coming in at around 5:10pm for an interview and asked if I want to go see him. Since it's a rare opportunity I jumped at the chance and promised to be there at that time.
However, when we (me and another colleague from the same department) got there. There wasn't anyone. We heard from the others waiting that Chun would only be there at 6pm so we left.
I was in a dilemma whether to wait for him or to leave at 6pm since I have to go to Bugis Junction for the fans meeting session which was supposed to start at 7:30pm. In the end, I decided to leave the office at 6pm since I have already arranged to meet someone at Bugis.
I reached Bugis Junction at around 7pm and found a rather not bad spot to see the fans meeting. Although I was squashed in the crowd for like an hour or so but I guess it's still worth it. All to see the handsome Chun Wu in person =P
After the fans meeting, Ziee (the person I'm meeting) and I went to the cinema area to wait so that we can go and watch the premiere. Since there was another hour before the start of the show, we waited around and saw this colleague of mine who told me about Chun coming to the office. He asked if I took pictures with Chun or not. I said no cause I left the office already.
Then he dropped a bomb on me. "Aiyo, why you leave so early? Can take photo with him leh." Dang, when I heard that I nearly faint on the ground. Why I so stupid to leave so early???
Then my colleague told me I should have called him and told him that I was going then he will help me. Then I told him I had to reach Bugis for the fans meeting. He told me its alright, he can get his friend who was driving him to drive me too. I really want to faint at this. Why didn't I call him????? Stupid, stupid, stupid (I can scold myself for hundred times)
Anyway its over so I won't want to keep harping on it.
After that Chun appeared again for the Main Reception at the cinema. Talked about his movie again then we proceed in for the movies. As the Main Receiption is quite private I got to stand rather front. Wow, what can I say about Chun Wu? Super duper handsome! Haha.... Think that's the only thing I can say about him. Hehe... His skin is really flawless, and his nose is so sharp, his eyes so big, his lips so thin... Hehe... I can go on forever =P
After that we went to the cinema to wait for the show to start. Before it started, Chun came in again and wished that we will enjoy the show and all.
For the reviews of the movie, eh... I will keep to myself. Ask me if you want to know how it went.
Anyway, after this incident, I made a promise to myself. When Fahrenheit comes in December I'm so going to wait for them. I don't care if they come for interview at 11am or 11pm. I AM WAITING FOR THEM!!!!
Okok, that's all. A lot of people waiting already. Hehe...
P.S. photos in next post. Too many of it =P
fly me to paris, please?
10:21 PM
10:21 PM
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Finally
haha... have i disappeared for a long time? hehe... i guess so.
been busy with work and also tons of things for me to do at night. hehe...
well, been busy with my blog as well. in the template but well hehe... i'm thinking when to post it. =P
met up with Felicia (one of my friend from CEFC) yesterday and well, we made so many discoveries. thought that it might be awkard but luckily it wasnt. hehe...
went to collect my Fahrenheit's concert tickets early in the morning. took a train to Potong Pasir then took a cab. thought the seats will be good but well, it dont seem good. hopefully it will be like where i expected (crossing my fingers and praying hard)
after that went to bugis to meet Fel. had lunch at MacDonalds then went to Top 1 KTV to sing. hehe...
after spending 5 hours plus singing nothing but just S.H.E songs with some Fahrenheit and Tank's songs, we went to City Hall to have Gelare waffle at Citylink Mall. hehe....
we shopped around for a while then went to take photos at Marina Square. the view is nice but there is no way we can take it ourselves so in the end the shots didnt end up really well. =P
many things have happened but well, i'm not in the mood today to say much cause i have to work tomorrow and there are like dozens of things to be done. haiz....
other photos and blogskin will be changed soon but for now...
a pic of me and Fel!!! hehe....
fly me to paris, please?
10:45 PM
10:45 PM
10:07 AM